Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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