Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
