i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
two words...techno handjob
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
