this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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