Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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