I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
