An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
