I need help removing her.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?