There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
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He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
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Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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