Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(440): View more from Ohio

I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman

Fav 6 2553 1759
share tweet
(312): View more from Illinois

I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.

Fav 44 1699 13675
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(775): View more from Nevada

Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.

Fav 20 1553 5014
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.

Fav 13 1895 3522
share tweet
23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.

Fav 12 2901 1237
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

Fav 1 1746 873
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(248): View more from Michigan

He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.

Fav 8 2186 981
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.

Fav 0 184 221
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(512): View more from Texas

Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?

Fav 0 30 3
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT