Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
