why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i out mim tonsoeep
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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