what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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