I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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