I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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