go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We talked him into tasing himself.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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