i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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