All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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