TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
