Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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