Non-Jews are for practice
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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