i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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