Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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