I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
