omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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