I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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