thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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