I puked a lego.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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