Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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