either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
