Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
