How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
