We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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