Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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