I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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