my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
