Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
