There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
