I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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