I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
