Just cropdusted the office
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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