This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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