Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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