I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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