I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
