she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
