Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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