and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
