They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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