your room smells of hookers.
And success
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
