so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
