Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
