Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
