can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
