he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
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He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
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I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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