No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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