I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize