You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
being pregnant is like rehab
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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