So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
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