You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
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He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize