Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
