I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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