I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Come share oat with me in your robe
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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