Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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