why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
