Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
