I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
