oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize