But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
