we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
