Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
