Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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