oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
